Insect
by Unspoken-Nightmare
Summary: "...someone like me, is an insect to him. In his eyes, I must be trash..." Pairing:SinbadxJudal Warnings: Slight shounen-ai/angst [ one-shot ] I really love this pairing /cries/ Read & review, maybe?


**Title of project: Insect**

**Pairings: JudalxSinbad**

**Ratings: T [angst/slight shounen-ai]**

**A/N: A short drabble, actually. I love this pairing so much I can't even , /sobs/ Guys , this pairing really really needs more love so support them !   
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* * *

**_Sinbad_**

_How beautiful. _A smile began to dance across my pink lips as my golden eyes ravished the raven-haired boy that was just lying by my side. Judal was _beautiful. _His stunning jet-black locks fell into his eyes which were heavily curtained by his long thick lashes as his muscles tensed slightly at the chilling breeze that flitted across the entire chamber. And his skin; his soft pale skin that would never match up to his reputation as a powerful dark mage. I propped my head on an elbow as I behold the sight of the majestic Magi. Judal's usual crazed grin was completely eradicated from his soft plump lips. At that moment, I could have sworn that I would have planted my lips against his if not for the lingering memory of yesterday's promise.

A rush of dismay hovered over me as I realised that this may be the last time that I would ever see him alive – or see him for that matter. It was only natural for the kind-hearted and glorious king of Sindria to deliver the finishing blow to the evil and deceitful dark Magi; you could say that it was fate: we were fated to be bitter rivals and enemies to the end and nothing would _ever _change that.

I placed my hand over his; tenderly entwining our fingers together before pressing his wrist against my ear, basking in the serenity that derived from the gentle _ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum _of his steady heartbeat. I knew that eventually, I had to end his life with my very own sinful hands: that I would _never_ again hear that soothing rhythm of his heart beating against my chest.

"Sinbad? Let me go." Judal finally spoke: the usual hint of arrogance and sarcasm in his voice surfacing as he stirred from his deep slumber, his black nails clawing into my pale flesh.

I forced a wry smile as I let his long fingers slip away from mine; veiling all hints of hesitation. Emptiness clawed its way into my heart as I yenned for his fingers to rest against mine however, I only flashed him a smirk.

"I like your nails." That lie rolled off the tip of my tongue with ease.

"Oh?" His scarlet orbs penetrated right into my façade as he absentmindedly studied his nails which were neatly trimmed. Black paint coated the surface of those nails.

"And yesterday," the Magi paused. "meant _nothing_."

"We agreed that it was for pleasure. _Nothing_ else."

"Of course." A chuckle escaped my lips. "I'm not as petty as you, my lovely Judal."

_Liar. _A spiteful voice rang throughout my mind.

_Liar. _

_Liar. _

_Liar._

_You wanted him. _

_You wanted him really bad. _

_You would even kill for him._

_Liar. _

_You-_

Cursing myself mentally, I fixed my lazy gaze on him.

"And you seemed pretty needy too." Maybe yesterday meant nothing to him at all. Perhaps he wasn't lying after all. _Heh. _An almighty person like Judal would never see me as his equal. A person like me would be an insect to someone like him – utterly worthless and invaluable.

My violet locks cascaded down my broad shoulders as I cocked my head towards the window.

"I _was. _You weren't too bad yourself. You didn't disappoint me at all, idiot king." Judal's piercing gaze averted away from me and out of the window too.

"_Heh. _This is goodbye then? We won't even have time to spare the next time we cross paths." The Magi shot me a death glare before that all too familiar grin tore across his beautiful face.

"Of course. I'll kill you with my own hands then." Judal replied hastily, shrugging his shoulders as he slipped into his loose silk pants.

"Make sure I _don't _finish you off before you can even lay a finger on me."

"I won't." The Magi swore as he stood up to leave.

"Judal, wait." My hand grasped at the boy before he could even take a step. Bony fingers clutched around his fragile wrist, dragging him back onto the soft velvet covers of the bed. I crawled onto him, pinning him down with all my strength before my fingers trailed along his collarbones and onto his lips.

"_Heh. _Do you want me that much?" The boy mocked, smirking in arrogance as he laid on the bed – surprisingly with no resistance whatsoever. "You just had me yesterday."

As my velvet locks curtained the both of us, I planted a quick yet chaste kiss against those perfect lips of his, cupping his cheeks as I deepened the kiss. There was no lust; desire,want or whatsoever, there was only innocence: a hidden rapturous bliss beneath that innocent kiss. However, Judal didn't react: he didn't protest; he didn't squirm; he didn't even return the kiss. All he did was lay sprawled on the bed and for once, a subtle hint of warmth surfaced in those cold gems. His cerise eyes were so resplendently tender that they may have seemed mordacious for a moment. I break away from the kiss, greeted by the fluttering of the Magi's striking eyes.

Judal's expression was alien to me – usually, he would be grinning maniacally and chuckling away, yesterday, those very eyes were conquered with lust but right now, agony and despair clouded them, embracing a very alien yet awfully familiar quality in the Magi.

"Goodbye, then." I finally break the silence, helping the younger male up.

Judal hung his head low, possibly for the first time in his life before he finally begins to walk.

"I always liked those sunflowers in the middle of the rice field." Those words pierced through my fragile heart as my eyes widened in shock. _Could it be?_

* * *

_**12 years ago**_

"_Hey, let's play again someday!" _

"_Mhmm! I don't know if they'll try to lock me up again but I'll try to come here tomorrow!"_

"_Your parents locked you up?_

"_No… I don't have any parents."_

"…"

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."_

"_It's okay. It's a fact, anyway."_

"_Oh, by the way, if we ever meet up again, let's buy a sunflower and plant it in the middle of that abandoned rice field! Hehehe! The elders hate it when I do that last time but it'll be our little secret! We'll plant a sunflower in that field for every time that we meet so that when we grow up, we'll have our mini garden and then we can come back and collect all of our flowers!"_

"_Okay! Let's plant one today before I return home!"_

"_Mhmm!"_

* * *

_Could it be? _That he was the boy that I met twelve years ago? Whenever I had free time, I would always return to that abandoned rice field in my village to meet up with that boy but one day, he stopped showing up. I waited for him all day and night but he didn't return to the rice field. The last time I saw him, we had actually planted two sunflowers each because we had extra money to spare.

Actually, whenever we met, we would spend the time chatting away idly as we waited on the hills for the sun to set and if we met up in the night, we would have our own private picnic as I shared my tales of adventures to him; about the dungeons that I had conquered or about the djinn vessels that I had acquired. Most of the time, we would pour our heart out to the other whenever the burdens on our shoulders became too heavy. To put it simply, Judal was the one who had actually inspired me to work harder to conquer those dungeons and return safely, so that I could actually build a country: a country where both of us could rule; a country where all the orphans and slaves could be set free; a country where nobody would ever suffer. But somewhere along the timeline, I had actually thought that Judal had forgotten about me; had forgotten about us and the brotherhood that we shared. Now I realised why those emotions in his eyes earlier on were familiar; it was because during those earlier days, he would always look at me with those crestfallen eyes of his – those eyes of a person who had suffered greatly; eyes of one who had been broken and broken time and again.

"Judal?" My head snapped up as I faced towards him but to my disappointment, he was gone. The long billowing curtains of the room swayed along to the spring breeze that had invaded my room just seconds ago.

Was that it? Was that our final goodbye? Didn't he promise that we would return to that village to collect all the flowers? For twelve years now, I didn't even live a day without tending to those sunflowers. Did he think that it was so easy to forget an unforgotten promise?

If only I had realised sooner. If only I knew that he was that very boy that had actually kept me going in life, I would have begged him to stay. I would have even given up my life for him. After all, it was he who had actually drove me to become the man that I was today. If not for Judal, the great King of the Seven Seas would never have existed. However, must it all come down to this: for the both of us to face each other, head to head before one of us slaughters the other? Fate is cruel and the world is not fair; after all, there is no such thing as a pure heart: with evil, comes good and with kindness, loathing.

* * *

_**Judal**_

My neatly-trimmed nails somehow managed to dig deep into my fleshy palms as I trudged out of Sinbad's chambers. That _idiot. _My lips quivered as my façade vanished completely. I didn't even try to hold it in. Years and years of want and yearning ate up a huge hole in my shattered heart. There was no doubt that Sinbad was that boy that I had met years ago. There was _no _doubt about it. His golden eyes; his glossy tan; his beautiful violet locks, none of them changed at all. Oh, and even the fact that he is an absolutely horrible liar. My pink lips tugged into a half-smile. It had actually took all of my willpower – which, was a ridiculously huge amount due to the constant torture of the Al Sarmen, to hold those tears back: to even walk away from those familiar reassuring arms. For years I had watched him from afar, perching in a branch high up the tree that rests a few metres away from that abandoned rice field. It was amazing – indescribable, actually, how my heart could actually withstand such tormenting agony; just looking at him from afar, he was so close yet so far from me. It had actually pained me to see him waiting, waiting for someone who would never show themselves and it had actually pained me even more to know that I could never hold his hand in mine again because if I do, I would endanger him. He was a righteous man – always sharing those wonderful tales of dungeons and djinns and the kind folks he encountered on his journey while I – I killed; hundreds of innocents just for the sake of developing my power; the ability to toy with the black rukh. It was not as if I wanted to. If I had the choice, I wouldn't even dream of toying with people's life but they had them in captivity. Both of my parents were captured by the Al Sarmen before they burned down the entire village as a warning. At first, the Al Sarmen had informed me that my parents had died and when they realised that a kid who was much loved by the rukh won't be bent by the likes of them, they used my parents against me. Each and every day, they would ensure that I complete my mission lest I want to see my parents all bloody, battered and bruised. It was hard – life was hard. I had to kill others just to save my parents' life. If I had the power, I would have already broken them out of their magic prison but I was too weak. _Heh. _Yes, the mighty and powerful dark mage is actually a weakling but no one knew and they will never know. For right now, I have to keep up m façade. I have to stay away from Sinbad, who had actually inspired me to grow stronger and live, so that I could save my parents. If not for him, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but he reminded me that I had to live; that there were people waiting for me: waiting for me to save them and that is why, I actually love Sinbad. I love him and forever will but I can't let my emotions destroy his future. Somewhere, out there, there is a much better and kinder person for him; someone like me, is an insect to him. In his eyes, I must be trash but in my eyes, he's the most precious person that has ever crossed my life. If I could have one more moment with him, I wouldn't take it for I don't want to ruin his future. I'm useless; pathetic. I'm worse than trash and someone like me, shouldn't even think of being with him.

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_**A/N: I... don't know. T^T But I like angsty stuff so read & review, maybe? **_


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